Tuesday, 31 December 2013

You MUST Know What I Think! Worst of 2013


We’ve had the best, now for the worst. Dun dun dun!

5. Elysium
Matt Damon stars in the film that logic forgot. Oh, action and excitement forgot it too. I just wish I could… The trailers and images released beforehand seemed to promise something different, but instead we have a District 9 rehash with a slap-in-the-face message and clear morals, except when they need to be discarded to further the inane plot. I wanted to like this one, but it is easily one of the worst sci fis I have seen in a long time.

4. The World’s End
The end of the Cornetto Trilogy and I’m afraid I didn’t like it. Now, I wasn’t a big fan of Shaun of the Dead initially either, so time might tell with this one, but the film was in 2 halves, and the second half lost most of what was strong in the first in its struggles with body snatching aliens. There are glimmers of a good and smart movie here, but too much ‘ah here, isn’t this just ridiculous?’ moments ruin it all. Mind you, it might be more aimed at an older crowd.


3. Insidious Chapter 2
For someone who was sceptical of both the first Insidious instalment and director James Wan’s The Conjuring, I was finally prepared to trust him with a horror film. Bad choice. Insidious Chapter 2 picks up from where the previous film ended, and then proceeds to re-enact all the bets bits from the first film and forcing plot in to try hang it all together.  A tough film to take seriously and a major disappointment, but it does follow in Insidious’ habit of taking cues from thePoltergeist films, since both series started with straightforward films that were followed by sequels that pounded on unnecessary plot details.

2. Para Elisa
Beautiful looking, could have been a great satire. Became awful and cliché and I developed a hatred out of my disappointment. Read more here.

1. Frankenstein’s Army
Ugh… Found footage during WW2… A film about a madman making monsters to fight for the Nazi’s shouldn’t be this awful, but it truly is. You will scratch you head as characters leave themselves in danger's way constantly, or why they disband, or don’t stop the madman, or act like an army unit, or why the monsters look like Mighty Morphing Power Rangers rejects. The entire film is a bit like watching someone play Doom, except more difficult to make out, and with no scares. There is a lot to hate about this film, and very little to like. I saw this one at Frightfest and the entire crowd felt my pain. We were so ready for it to end, and then it hit the home stretch and… didn’t end. If you thought Return of the King had a long ending at least that had several of them. This has one long and pointless end section where nothing of intrigue or real excitement happens. One of the worst films I have seen in a long time, low budget indie fare included, and also one of the most disappointing. Seriously, a name like Frankenstein’s Army, half the work is done for you!



And there you have it. What do you think? Did I get it right or did I bash you favourites of the year? Let me know!


Don’t forget to check out my best of 2013 here.