Saturday, 17 September 2011

What the HATCHET?

Ok, did I miss something?

For so long, I have been hearing about this amazing horror throwback and was even intrigued by the controversy surrounding its sequels release, but after purchasing and viewing, I can declare I just don't get the fuss about Hatchet.

It's your standard slasher flick, so the plot is pretty standard; horny teens, crazy killer, gore gore, kill kill. It takes place in the woods of Louisiana, which would be original if most slasher flicks didn't involve woods. The killer is disfigured. Of course.

All I can give this film is that it features Robert 'Freddy Kruger' Englund has a brief cameo at the beginning, some genre heroes peek their heads in and there are some moments of over the top gore that succeeded in making me chuckle. Apart from that, this film is awful. And I don't mean this in a snotty way. I get it is supposed to be a throwback, but it crosses that line of throwback and homage right in to stale and recycled territory. The acting is dire. The photography is even poor. Everything feels like a set.

Actually, Hatchet, maybe we could still be friends? 

Honestly, I've seen so many glowing reviews for this and I just don't get this. Maybe watched while drunk with a large group of hyper friends it could be fun, but I watched it, expecting a fun pastiche. Boy was I disappointed. Even worse, the director of this cheese-fest is none other than director of the all-round brilliant Frozen, Adam Green. Why, Adam Green? Why? 

I have just ruined the best part of the film. And I don't care.

Watching it, you have no doubt the filmmakers enjoyed shooting this massacre, which is oddly a positive for it. But maybe a 10 minute YouTube video would have been enough to satisfy the fanboy urges?

Or a 1:49 long video?

Maybe someone can explain to me what the fuss is, but right now, I'm going to give this 'informed' recommendation: watch Sleepaway Camp instead. It's as tongue-in-cheek, but oh so much more enjoyable in oh so many ways.